Q: How do I know its a
pub?
A: This is not a silly
question. In other parts of
the world, cafes and bars
often display the words cafe
or bar in a prominent
position on the facade or
signage. You will rarely see
the word pub anywhere on a
British pub, and our
traditional curtains and
frosted windows mean you
cannot see much from the
outside, so how can the
uninitiated first-time
visitor tell that he or she
is looking at a pub, rather
than a restaurant, coffee
shop or night-club? There is
one important external
feature which can tell you
that it is a pub: the
pub-sign. The pub-sign is
mounted about 15 to 25 feet
from the ground, either
sticking out at right-angles
to the building or swinging
in a wooden frame at the top
of a pole outside the
building. The sign usually
measures about 3 by 4 feet,
and displays both the name
of the pub and a pictorial
representation of the name.
For example, a pub called
The White Horse will have a
sign showing the name and a
picture of a white horse.
The name of the pub will
usually be repeated in large
letters on the front of the
building itself.
Getting served
Official rules:
Traditionally pubs 0pened at
11am (noon on Sundays). and
could not by law serve
drinks after 11pm (10.30 on
Sundays) - although you are
allowed 20 minutes to finish
any drinks already
purchased. The law changed
in 2006 and now allows
licensed premises to remain
open 24hrs/day although very
few do so.
So much for the
official rules and
regulations. The unofficial,
unwritten, unspoken rules of
pub etiquette are far more
complex - but just as
important.
Rule number one: There
is no waiter service in
British pubs. You have to go
up to the bar to buy your
drinks, and carry them back
to your table.
One of the saddest
sights of the British summer
(or the funniest, depending
on your sense of humour) is
the group of thirsty
tourists sitting at a table
in a pub, patiently waiting
for someone to come and take
their order. In most cases,
a friendly native will put
them out of their misery by
explaining rule number one,
or they will figure it out
for themselves, but in a
busy pub it can be some time
before the correct procedure
becomes clear.
Social benefits
Once they are aware of
the no-waiter-service rule
in British pubs, most
tourists recognise it as an
advantage, rather than an
inconvenience. Having to go
up to the bar for your
drinks ensures plenty of
opportunities for social
contact between customers.
In bars and cafes in
other parts of the world,
waiter service can isolate
people at separate tables,
which makes it more
difficult to initiate
contact with others. Perhaps
many cultures are more
naturally outgoing and
sociable than the British,
and do not require any
assistance in striking up a
conversation with those
seated near them.
The British, however,
are a somewhat reserved and
inhibited people, and we
need all the help we can
get! It is much easier to
drift casually into a
spontaneous chat while
waiting at the bar than
deliberately to break into
the conversation at another
table. Like every other
aspect of pub etiquette, the
no-waiter-service system is
designed to promote
sociability.
This is very good news
for tourists who wish to
make contact with the
natives. The bar counter in
a pub is possibly the only
site in the British Isles in
which friendly conversation
with strangers is considered
entirely appropriate and
normal behaviour.
Research findings: In
observation-studies, we
timed first-time tourists to
find out exactly how long it
would take them to discover
the no-waiter-service rule.
The fastest time just under
two-and-a-half minutes was
achieved by a sharp-eyed
American couple. The slowest
- over 45 minutes - involved
a group of six young
Italians. This group did
not, however, seem
particularly concerned about
the apparent lack of
service, being engrossed in
a lively debate about
football. Sympathy should go
to the French couple who
marched out of the pub,
complaining bitterly to each
other about the poor service
and British manners in
general, after a 24-minute
wait.
Note: In Britain, the
term bar can mean either the
actual counter at which
drinks are served, or any
room in the pub which
contains one of these
counters. You may come
across pubs with rooms
marked Public Bar and Lounge
Bar or Saloon Bar. The
Public Bar usually has more
modest and functional
furnishings, and houses
pub-games such as pool and
darts, while the Lounge or
Saloon Bar is more
luxurious, comfortable and
conducive to quiet
conversation. Traditionally,
both prices and social
classes were lower in the
Public Bar, but these
distinctions no longer
apply.
Rule number two: It is
customary for one or two
people, not the whole group,
to go up to the bar to buy
drinks.
Bar staff are
generally very tolerant
people, but large packs of
tourists crowding the bar
counter can try their
patience. It is best if only
one or at the most two
members of the group
approach the bar to purchase
drinks for the group. Other
members of the group should
either stand back from the
bar or go and sit down at a
table.
Before you can order
at all, you must learn the
correct bar-counter
etiquette. You will notice
that the bar counter of the
pub is the only place in
Britain in which anything is
sold or served without the
formation of a queue. Many
visitors have observed that
queuing is almost a national
pastime for the British, who
will automatically arrange
themselves into an orderly
line at bus stops, shop
counters, ice-cream stalls,
lifts, entrances, exits -
and sometimes in the middle
of nowhere for no apparent
reason.
In the pub, by
contrast, we gather
haphazardly along the bar
counter. This may appear
contrary to all native
instincts and customs, until
you realise - and this is
spooky - that the queue is
still there, and the bar
staff are aware of each
persons position in the
invisible queue.
Bar staff are
remarkably skilled at
identifying who is next in
the invisible queue at the
counter, but they are not
infallible. You need to
attract their attention to
make them aware that you are
waiting to be served.
The pantomime ritual
Rule number three: To
get served, you must attract
the attention of the bar
staff without making any
noise or resorting to the
vulgarity of too-obvious
gesticulation. This is much
easier than it sounds!
There are strict rules
of etiquette involved in
attracting the attention of
bar staff. The ritual
procedure is best described
as a sort of subtle
pantomime - not the kind of
childrens pantomime you see
on stage at Christmas, more
like an Ingmar Bergman film
in which the twitch of an
eyebrow speaks volumes.
The object is to catch
the barmans eye. Eye contact
is all that is necessary to
ensure that you have been
spotted and will be served
in your turn. The following
dos and donts will help you
to achieve this without
breaching the unwritten laws
of pub etiquette and
incurring the disapproval of
the natives.
Dont ever try to jump
the invisible queue. The
people who reached the bar
before you will be served
before you. Everyone is well
aware of his or her place in
the queue, and any obvious
attempt to get served out of
turn will be ignored by bar
staff and frowned upon by
other customers.
Do start by trying to
identify the best position
at the bar counter. When the
bar is busy, there are two
positions which may be
favourable for making
eye-contact with bar staff.
One is immediately opposite
the till, as bar staff must
return there after each
sale. Skilled bar staff,
however, are aware of the
till-position-manoeuvre and
may have perfected
gaze-avoidance techniques to
prevent customers who adopt
this strategy from jumping
the queue. A more
potentially effective
strategy is to position
yourself next to a person
currently being served, as
bar staff will find it hard
to avoid eye-contact with
you when they hand over
drinks and take money from
your immediate neighbour.
Dont call out to the
bar staff, tap coins on the
counter, snap your fingers,
wave like a drowning
swimmer, bang your hand on
the counter, shout "service"
or "barman" or wave money
about. In fact, it is best
to avoid all speech or
obvious gesticulation.
Do let the bar staff
know you are waiting to be
served by holding money or
your empty glass in your
hand. You may tilt the empty
glass, perhaps even turn it
slowly in a circular motion
(some say that this
indicates the passing of
time). If the wait
continues, you may perch
your elbow on the bar, with
either money or empty glass
in your raised hand - but
never raise your whole arm
and wave the notes or glass
around.
Dont scowl, frown or
glare at the bar staff, or
make your impatience obvious
by heavy sighing and angry
muttering. The bar staff are
doing their best to serve
everyone in turn, and
rudeness will not help your
cause.
Do adopt an expectant,
hopeful, even slightly
anxious facial expression.
If you look too contented
and complacent, the bar
staff may assume you are
already being served.
Dont ring the bell.
Some pubs have a large bell
attached to the wall at one
end of the bar. This is used
by the publican or bar staff
to signal last orders and
time . If you ring the bell,
customers may interpret this
as the last orders signal,
and will all rush to the bar
to buy their last drinks
making it even more
difficult for you to get
served, and incurring the
wrath of the publican!
Do stay alert and keep
your eye on the bar staff at
all times. This will
increase your chances of
making eye-contact.
Exceptions: If you
hear people calling out "Get
a move on!" or "Ive been
stood here since last
Thursday!" or "Any chance of
a drink sometime this week?"
to the bar staff, do not
imitate them. The only
people permitted to make
such remarks are established
regulars, and the remarks
are made in the context of
the special etiquette
governing relations between
bar staff and regulars.
When you achieve your
goal of making eye contact
with the barman, a quick
lift of the eyebrows and
upwards jerk of the chin,
accompanied by a hopeful
smile, will let him know
that you are waiting. In a
busy bar, do not expect a
verbal response. Bar staff
will respond to your
non-verbal signals with a
smile or a nod, a raised
finger or hand, perhaps
accompanied by a similar
eyebrow-lift. This conveys
that they have seen you
waiting and will serve you
as soon as possible.
Natives perform the
pantomime instinctively,
without being aware that
they are following a rigid
etiquette, and without ever
questioning the
extraordinary handicaps - no
speaking, no waving, no
noise, constant alertness to
subtle non-verbal signals,
etc. - imposed by this
etiquette.
In fact, the pantomime
ritual is much less
difficult than it sounds,
and you will soon get used
to it. After only a few
pub-visits, you will realise
that good bar staff are
exceptionally acute readers
of body language, sensitive
to very small signals in the
posture and expression of
their customers. You will
see that there is no need to
shout and wave at these
expert observers, who ensure
that everyone does get
served, usually in the right
order, and without undue
fuss, noise or loss of
temper.
Ordering etiquette
Rule number four: If
you wish to pay for your
drinks individually, then
order individually; if you
order as a group, the bar
staff will total the cost
and expect a single payment.
A common sight during
the tourist season is the
large group of tourists
monopolising the entire bar
counter, trying to order
drinks collectively and pay
individually, confusing the
bar staff and annoying the
regulars. If the bar is
busy, individual orders and
payments will waste your
time and the bar staffs, so
it is best to elect a
spokesperson to order and
pay for the drinks.
Research findings: If
you find this ritual
baffling, you are not alone:
most of the tourists we
interviewed found it utterly
incredible. A Dutch visitor
expressed the views of many
when he said: "I cannot
understand how the British
ever manage to buy
themselves a drink".
Rule number five: In
most British pubs, you pay
for your drinks in cash,
immediately when you order
them.
In terms of financial
transactions, the ordinary
British local is not a
20th-century business.
Although you will find some
exceptions, the majority of
local pubs do not take
credit cards for drinks, and
you will have to ask if you
want a receipt. You should
also expect to pay for each
drink or round of drinks
when you order it. Credit
cards are becoming more
widely accepted when
ordering meals, but ask
before relying on them.
Ordering beer: the
basics
Simply asking for "a beer"
in a British pub is a bit
like asking for "a
wine"
in a French restaurant.
There are hundreds of
different varieties of beer
available, each with its own
distinctive taste and
characteristics. Pubs often
have a range of around 20
different
beers
behind the bar, many of them
on draught (on tap), some in
bottles and a few in cans.
They range from dark stouts,
through mild ales and bitter
to lager - a light,
gold-coloured beer. (You
would normally get lager if
you just asked for a beer in
most other countries,
including Europe, the United
States and Australia.)
Dont worry - you dont
have to become a connoisseur
to enjoy British beer. At a
basic level, the bar staff
just need to know whether
you want bitter, lager or
another sort of beer, and
whether you want a pint, a
half, or one of the wide
variety of imported and
domestic beers sold by the
bottle (look at the
glass-fronted coolers and
shelves behind the bar to
see what bottled beers are
available).
A pint is 0.568 litres
(i.e. quite a big drink). A
half means a half-pint. The
pint element is silent. When
ordering, you just say "A
half of lager, please" or "A
half of bitter, please".
This is very often shortened
to "Half a lager, please"
and so on. The please is
important.
If you are interested,
there is a lot more to find
out about the endless
different varieties of
traditional British beers.
Some publicans and bar staff
are very knowledgeable, and
will be happy - when they
are not too busy serving the
stuff - to explain it all to
you. Some natives are also
extremely well-informed on
this subject, and will
probably tell you much more
than you could ever wish to
know about the merits of
different beers.
The "And one for
yourself" ritual
Rule number six: It is
not customary to tip the
publican or bar staff in
British pubs. Instead, if
you wish, the common
practice is to buy them a
drink.
To understand this
particular element of pub
etiquette, you need to
understand both the British
attitude towards money, and
the social structure of the
pub. The British tend to be
rather squeamish and
embarrassed about money. Any
sign of excessive interest
in money is considered
vulgar, and obvious displays
of wealth are viewed with
contempt rather than
admiration. The publican and
bar staff may be providing
you with a service in
exchange for money, but it
is not appropriate to
emphasise this aspect of the
relationship. The social
structure of the pub is
egalitarian: those serving
behind the bar are in no way
inferior to the customers -
indeed, the publican often
commands great respect. To
give them a tip would be a
reminder of their service
role, whereas to offer a
drink is to treat them as
equals.
Buying the person who
serves you a drink is not
quite the equivalent of
giving a tip - it is by no
means automatic or expected,
in the way tips are more or
less automatic in many
countries. Offering a drink
is a genuinely personal and
friendly gesture.
The correct etiquette
for offering a drink to the
publican or bar staff is to
say "and one for yourself?",
or "and will you have one
yourself?" at the end of
your order. (If you are not
ordering drinks at the time,
you may ask "Will you have a
drink?", but the first
procedure is better, as it
implies that you are having
a drink together.) Make your
offer a question, not an
instruction, and do not
bellow it out as though
determined that the entire
pub should be aware of your
generosity. If you want to
be impeccably British about
it, avoid using the word
buy. To say "Can I buy you a
drink?" is acceptable, but
it does suggest that money
is involved. The natives are
quite aware that money is
involved, but prefer not to
draw attention to the fact.
Research findings:
American visitors
experienced particular
language-barrier problems
with two drinks: Cider and
Martini. Please note that
Cider, in Britain, is an
alcoholic drink, of about
the same strength as beer.
If you order "A Martini",
you will not get a cocktail:
you will get a glass of
Martini (vermouth) - no gin
or vodka, and no olive.
If your "and one for
yourself" offer is accepted,
the publican or bar staff
will say "Thank you, Ill
have a half (or whatever)"
and add the price of their
chosen drink to the total
cost of your order. They
will state the new total
clearly - "Thatll be four
pounds twenty then, please".
In this way, they can let
you know the price of the
drink you have just bought
them, without directly
mentioning the amount. The
amount will not be large, as
etiquette requires publicans
and bar staff to chose a
relatively inexpensive
beverage when a customer
offers them a drink. By
stating the revised total,
they are also, in an
indirect fashion, making you
aware of their abstemious
choice.
This may initially
seem like an unnecessarily
convoluted and tortuous way
of giving someone a tip.
Most visitors, however, find
the "and one for yourself"
ritual a refreshingly
friendly alternative to the
impersonal handing over of
coins.
Feel free to offer a
drink even when the bar is
busy and the publican or
member of staff will not
have time to consume it
immediately, or even to join
you at all. It is quite
appropriate for them to
accept your offer, add the
price of their drink to your
order, and enjoy it later
when the bar is less
crowded. On pouring the
drink, even several hours
later, the recipient will
try to catch your eye, and
raise the glass to you in
acknowledgement with a nod
and a smile, perhaps saying
"cheers" or "thanks" if you
are within earshot.
Ordering food
There is no single,
correct way to order a meal
or snack in a pub. Different
pubs have different systems
for ordering food: some take
meal orders at the bar,
others have separate
counters for food. Some pubs
have menus on the tables,
others have menus on the bar
counter or chalked on
blackboards - or both.
Wherever and however
food is served, drinks must
almost always be purchased
at the bar, so the best
strategy is to go up to the
bar first, order your drinks
and ask the bar staff what
the procedure is for
ordering food.
Even if your food is
brought to you at your
table, the no-waiter-service
rule will probably still
apply to drinks, so do not
expect the staff who bring
your food to take orders for
drinks as well. You may find
this custom irritating, but
try to appreciate the
opportunities it gives you
for friendly chats with the
bar staff and other natives.
Pubs are not just about food
and drink: pubs are about
sociability, and every trip
to the bar to buy drinks is
another chance to make
contact.
Some bar staffs pet
hates:
O"People who keep
everyone waiting while they
decide what they want to
drink."
"People who cant
remember their order, and
have to keep running back
and forth or shouting over
to their friends."
Z"People who order the
Guinness last." (Guinness
and other stouts such as
Beamish, Murphys and
Gillespies take a while to
pour and settle. Always
order these drinks first, so
that the bar staff can allow
them to settle while
preparing the rest of the
round.)
"People who try to get
rid of their old coins when
Ive got a queue of customers
waiting." (Counting out
pennies causes delay and
will annoy waiting customers
as well as busy bar staff.)
"People who hog the
bar counter when the pub is
very busy, blocking the way
so other people cant get
served." (By all means stand
or sit at the bar when the
pub is relatively quiet, as
this is the best way to meet
people - Making
Contact but move away from
the counter when the bar is
crowded.)
"Tourists who come in
the pub just to use the
toilets - someone should
tell them the difference
between a Public House and a
Public Convenience!"
(Public Convenience is the
British euphemism for public
toilets. Toilets in pubs are
for the use of customers,
not the general public.
Speaking of euphemisms,
toilets in pubs are called
The Ladies or The Gents and
the signs on the toilet
doors say Ladies and
Gentlemen.)
Tourist mistake: A
Japanese couple looked at
the bar snacks menu and
ordered five dishes each,
thinking that a bar snack
must be the British
equivalent of a tiny
sushi-bar portion. In
British pubs, a bar snack is
a simple, one-item meal -
such as a sandwich, a
hamburger, a pizza, a pork
pie, etc. - but it is still
a meal, not a nibble! In a
small, quiet pub, the bar
staff would have realised
that the order must be a
mistake, but this
unfortunate couple happened
to be in a very large, busy
pub, where the staff assumed
that they were ordering for
a group of ten.
Enjoy your visit.